What makes someone a failure at life?

You never hear someone on their death bed complaining about how they wished they:

“got that promotion”

“bought that extra car”

“got that bigger house”

There is a difference between achievement and fulfilment. Achievements are never ending. Once you get them you don’t even have time to enjoy it because you are looking over the horizon for the next one.

People wish they did more like:

“say I love you more often”

“do work that fulfilled them”

“be present at family events”

I’m not saying to go on in life and be mediocre.

If you find each day a thing that makes your day worth it and be grateful that you’ve made it through another opportunity, this will compound drastically with time. Ironically, in time, this will eventually lead you to achieving what actually matters to you. Only this time it will be genuine and fulfilling.

You know what’s worse than failing at something and feeling miserable?

Achieving success and still feeling miserable.

How can I train myself to be more social?

The best and simplest way is to remove your own Expectations.

The reasons you are not that social are not because you cannot hold a conversation, lack confidence or are in need of humor or other social skills. It is simply that you expect too much of yourself.

When you learn to never expect to make friends, get love, validation or support and when you stop expecting to gain anything at all from your conversations you become free!

This freedom is what you are looking for. It is what will get you to be social above everyone else because you will stop caring about getting anything at all.

Successful people, experts and all sorts of gurus know this and live by this. They do not need any validation because they are confident in their own ability even when everyone tells them they suck. They do not require any love because they love themselves from the bottom of their heart and know that they are going to be loved and appreciated anyway. And they do not need any support or any more friends because they are comfortable on their own.

All of this makes them free to say whatever the heck they want!! There is a fear inside of you that people will reject you, not like you or even hurt you in some way when you converse with them, which is stopping you from ever going up.

All of this is simply a matter of stopping to care so much. I mean… what’s the worst that could happen?

Some people won’t like you. So what? Others will look at you like you are garbage. Isn’t that more a weakness in them? And others will not even notice you, which is their loss.

In the end it all doesn’t matter because none of it makes you any less valuable than them or than you were before! You are just expecting everyone to love you and that won’t happen. But you do not need it either!

Be fully yourself, laugh out loud, have a lot of haters and even more people that love you!

When you go up to someone next to hold a conversation just remind yourself that you are not looking to gain anything from this conversation. If they end up hating your guts and never talking to you again… Awesome!! And if they fall in love with you, become your best friends or want to do everything with you… even better!

Learn to expect nothing and try to have as much as you possibly can, regardless of what they think of you. Do whatever makes you feel great! That doesn’t mean being a gigantic douche, because that will not make you feel better at the end of the day either. Be kind, fun, giving, have a blast and share that happiness with others, regardless of what they end up thinking of you at the end of the day!

What are the common mistakes people make that ruin their lives?

• Doing same thing and expecting different results.
• Expecting recognition from their efforts.
• Comparison.
• Care about what people think or know.
• Waiting for change without shaking a leg.
• Watching pornography.
• Being friends with negative people.
• Gambling.
• Expecting love in return.
• Chasing money.
• Being alone every time.
• Doing jobs they hate.
• Making fun of others and discuss people.
• Judging people by their grades or jobs.
• Smoking and drugs addiction.
• Living a lie.
• Complaining about everything.
• Procrastination.
• Living in regrets.

Thank you for reading!

What are the benefits of losing all emotion?

A lot:

• You don't fall in love- less drama in life
• Somebody is trying to humiliate you? - You don't give a f***
• Friends forgot your birthday? - Never mind, they still are your friends
• Somebody is trying to please you for his own good? - Never falling for that trap
• Somebody is showing off his lavish lifestyle to make you jealous? - Boy o Boy ! He's gonna have a hard time doing so
• Apart from this you get rid of unnecessary obligations.

In short life becomes easy and blissful
bliss - that you can no longer feel :P

What is the key to confidence?

As someone who used to be so terrified to talk to girls that instead of going to school dances I stayed home and played World of Warcraft instead, let me give you a little insight about confidence (and how it is acquired):

Confidence takes practice.

As much as you think that some people are “born” confident and others “aren’t,” the truth is that confidence is just like every other trait: humility, humor, joy, stress, anger, disappointment, etc.

These traits are not inherent. Some are more pre-wired than others, sure, but that doesn’t mean these emotions are not practicable. To be forgiving or to be angry is often a choice. To be open or to be closed is a choice. To be aware or to be destructive is a choice.

Being confident is a choice.

That said, you don’t just wake up and then say, “I am now going to choose to be confident, and joyful, and open, and hilarious, and yay, now I’m all those things.”

It doesn’t work that way.

However, what you can do is decide what traits (confidence included) you want to work toward being a more concrete part of your personality, and then making tiny steps each day to implement those traits into who you are.

If you want to be confident, you have to practice being confident.

So, what would a confident person do?

They’d go talk to that person they’re interested in.

They’d walk into a room and introduce themselves.

They’d pursue their dreams and not worry about what anyone thought of them.

So those are the things you need to practice doing as well.

Next time you’re in an elevator with someone and you want to say hi, take the leap and say hi. The first time you’ll be terrified. The second time you’ll still be terrified. The twenty-eighth time you’ll be terrified. And then eventually you won’t be anymore—for no other reason than because you practiced it.

Just like any other skill in the world, you have to practice it if you want to improve.

Start practicing.

Can hard work beat intelligence?

Hard work will always beat intelligence, only if intelligence doesn’t work hard enough.

And this is a good thing.

Most intelligent people don’t work hard enough, they become complacent and feel entitled in their own bubble of superiority.

I’ve seen it so many times.

I’m a loser, but at least I know I’m smart. So I got that going on for me.

You cannot control how intelligent or gifted you are. What is intelligence? The ability to memorize a book word by word? Or the ability to rationalize and be creative in order to create new models for the world? It’s debatable and the IQ tests that make you match cubes and triangles are no clear predictors of what your actual “intellect” is capable of accomplishing.

What you can control instead is how hard you work. This is where you need to excel, if you create an outstanding work ethic for you that will compound over time, you will get further than any person who just bets the whole farm on their intelligence.

You might be outsmarted, but you cannot be outworked.

Will Smith said the following in an interview once:

“You might be faster than me, you might be better looking than me, you might be more talented than me, you might beat me in 9 out of 10 categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things that can happen: You either get off first or I’m gonna die.”

The same applies for intelligence. Adversity and obstacles are the elements that create experiences and memories to know how to tackle situations better next time. A muscle grows only if it’s subjected to contractions.

If you are smart and you don’t encounter these obstacles in your path eventually you will be left behind by the people who decided to put in 150% more than you. Some smart people even make the mistake of only pursuing opportunities they know they can conquer, they fear losing their highest sense of validation, their superior brains.

I once met a guy in his 40’s who told me that when he was a kid he achieved a high enough score (around 148 IQ) to join Mensa. After a bad experience he had in his childhood, he took the IQ test 10 years later and his IQ dropped to 135. He then told me that from that day on he never took an IQ test ever again because he was afraid to see his number go down. Also he made sure never to go again through situations that challenged him in order to preserve his mental health.

Now I don’t know about you but that just sounds ridiculous. I would rather burn my brains out living an exciting life, working hard for my dreams and getting challenged everyday in order to build a life I want even if I get Alzheimer in my 60’s instead of just living comfortably until I’m 90 to preserve my IQ.

Bobby Fischer was a chess prodigy. When he beat everyone in the US he started learning Russian and reading their chess magazines in order to learn their moves so that later he could beat them in international championships.

That’s when intelligence also meets hard work.

You cannot have it all, but you can achieve a lot if you just put in the extra mile.

“Working hard beats being smart. Working smart beats working hard.”

Do you see what the common denominator is in both these sentences?

Work.

There is no way around it.

How do I stop thinking about someone who is not going to be in my life?

You need to (a) accept that they are not going to be a part of your life, (I suspect you haven’t yet), and (b) focus on something else.

If you focus on what you can’t have, you will just feel more of your ‘un-blessedness’ so you need to focus on your blessings.

Why not try some mindfulness work?

You cannot stop loving someone even though it is unrequited. If it is just lust, staying away will help. If you love the other person truly, then that love will never fade. Just accept that she/he doesn’t want you in her/his life anymore and stay away from that person.

May be time and distance will help both of you to realize what you both mean to each other. Till then stay away, otherwise you will be hurt so much. Time doesn’t heal anything. It just teaches you to live with that pain.

True love will never go away and you cannot forget that person. But remember that if things are to happen, they will realize someday. I am still crying as I write this one, because I know how much it hurts to be ignored by the one who means a lot to me. Save yourself from that pain.

And don't tell me he /she is the only one.

He / she is not God.

Trust me on this